I whirl to face him, to demand answers, because I’m not letting him take Mac anywhere until he explains a few things, but the look in his eyes shuts me down.
Way to go, Dani, the look says. You’re not a kid, say his eyes. You’re a warrior, and a bloody fine one at that. His look takes me in, measures me up and down, and reflects me back at myself, and in the glittering black mirror of his gaze, I am one hell of a woman. Barrons sees me. He really sees me!
When he picks up Mac and turns away, I swallow a dreamy sigh.
I’m gonna give Barrons my virginity one day.
CHAPTER 3
Mac: in the cell at the abbey
I am heat.
I am need.
I am pain.
I am more than pain. I am agony. I am the other side of death denied the mercy of it. I am life that should never have been.
Skin is all I am. Skin that is alive that hungers that aches that needs to be touched to endure. I roll and roll, but it is not enough. It makes the pain worse. My skin is on fire, flayed by a thousand red-hot blades.
I have been on the cold stone floor of this cell for as long as I can recall existing. I have never known anything but this cold stone floor. I am hollow. I am barren. I am empty. I do not know why I continue to be.
But wait! In my stasis is there something? Is this change?
I lift my head.
There is other-than-empty near!
I crawl to it, beg it to make my agony stop.
The other-than-empty tries to put things in my mouth and make me chew. I roll my head away. Resist. Not what I want. Touch me here. Touch me now!
It does not. It goes away. Sometimes it returns and tries again.
Time has no meaning.
I drift.
I am alone. Lost. I have always been alone. There has never been anything but cold and pain. I touch myself. I need. I need.